Don't love me, cause trust me babe...I'm not worth it.
I would like to think that I am the lovey dovey, girly girl that really only needs your patience and loyalty. But honestly..I am a jaded, cynical, pessimistic, version of the doe eyed, hopeful, girly girl I left behind the 1st time my heart broke.
I made up my mind a long time ago that I no longer wanted to be the one crying, hopeless, loveless, picking up the pieces that used to be my love and faith in you. I obsessed over all of them....sleepless, painful, soul aching nights, wondering what I said or did, that made you do me that way. I went through every text, email, voicemail, and letter that always read the same affection for me...But now all I hear and see is anger, and not the same person I used to cherish. What made me so different? What made them so much better? Even after hearing your reasoning it still never added up. And once my logical side crashes after realizing that its not an equation with only one answer, I am left with my emotions.
I can't be left alone with them....I am afraid of my emotions. They don't listen to ME!!! They do the opposite of everything my brain tells them to do!! They wake me up at night with memories of you, memories of the things you said, memories of us, memories of what I was. They sneak up on me when I work, cook, and eat. Taunting me that what I once had is lost and in the arms of another. Not because I did anything wrong...but because you are to insecure to allow me to ever hurt you....the way you just hurt me.
Naw bay I can't be that chick again.
You can call me a bitch but that word is already burnt in my brain, right next to my name, and it carries no pain.
You can call me a flake, but I really don't care, and was never fully there, so stop wasting all your air.
You can't say it wasn't fun while it lasted, or that I led you on, cause baby I live in the moment & now...our moment is gone.
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