untitled #43 - Ash Mari

untitled #43

I think my body temperature just dropped to 20 below. Melted snow from igloo roofs and tears running down my cheeks are all the same. She just doesn’t get it. And I keep contradicting myself because one day I’m strong and I think I might be ok but the next day comes along and I can’t do it. I find some excuse to accidentally dial her number or send an instigating text. Just so I can get some attention. Desperate. Love sick. Whatever you wana call it…I am it.

I am below the water that sits in the lowliest places where it rubs shoulder to shoulder with mildew and feces from down stream. My tail is between my legs because there is no denying that I am guilty of doing what I do best which is fucking this one up! I am beyond left field, outer space, my own mind and this fucking place that I can’t seem to scrub clean enough because I can still smell your scent lingering. Love has become my addiction. I need a fix. My supplier has moved on, rather backwards to the last one, forcing me to let go cold turkey and I have been having violent withdrawals. So I started to switch to a different habit but this bottle is empty and these cloves numb my tongue. I don’t want to be that drunk crazy lady. “Keep it real wit the nex nigga in line”.

That’s what she said to me. Affirmation that she has eliminated any possibilities that I may not be open for business. My love has been bought and returned it seems. The product is no good due to damage caused from shipping and handling…

*END Ashton Mari