Never really had to deal with death before, I hadn't really known anyone who died until recently. Now when I try and remember that person all I think about are the lies I told, and how often I did not appreciate that person. It has caused a lot of self reflection, that made me feel more guilty, since I should have been think of the person that died. I never made the effort to change for this person, I never went out of my way to be their for him, I never showed him how much I actually respected him, and now.......I never will.
The part I feel the worst about is even in his death, this person was able to show me he cared about me by the things he left behind. And I can't say that if the tables had been turned he would have been able to say the same thing. Crawling under a rock sounds really good right about now.
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